28 April 2019

Losing Appetite and Interest

This is the first month after I finish my shopping ban. Surprisingly, it's the first time in my life that I have no desire for the things that I used to love.

Clothes - I think I had enough. I used to have some items in the wishlist, but I don't want it anymore. I'm testing myself by visiting my favorite store offline and online, but I want nothing. This is very different compared to when I'm still on for the shopping ban, I was like... want many things!

Books - I want to finish the last book I bought. Yes I'm glad that I finally bought Filosofi Teras by Henry Manampiring after a long consideration, but it's damn thick.

Travel - I don't want an adventure at the moment. I even rejected an invitation from a friend of mine who's willing to pay for my holiday, lol yes people like this exist - don't get me wrong, of course I would never let anyone pay for this kind of thing. Last month, I'm checking a flight fare and constantly browsing about place that I'm planning to visit, but now I just don't think I need to go somewhere far, at least this year.

Cook - I didn't cook my breakfast and lunch like I used to be. I didn't cook on weekend as well. I don't know why.

Food - This is weird. My work mates thought that I'm being weird too. I usually eat a lot and often. I used to know what I want for lunch and being super happy when it's lunchtime, but I ended up just drinking a bottle of milk.

Currently I'm taking medication, so maybe the pills given by the doctor and the prohibition to eat read meat, some seafood and junk food are the reason why I lost my appetite (cause I have limited options about what I'm allowed to eat). But to be honest I'm worry to lose interrst in almost every aspect of my life. Less desire sounds good, it makes people less ambitious and not spending money over materials, but this just doesn't feel right.

Or.. maybe I'm just bored.